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| FAREWELL XANGA!!
(warning: This video is 17 minutes long and if we weren't friends you're not going to find it entertaining at all...)
This video doesn't even scratch the surface of what these past years have entailed. While having my entire high school life documented on this website has sometimes gotten me into trouble, it was completely worth it. This xanga has been a place for me to vent, share my thoughts and opinions, and grow as a person. Going back to my earlier entries makes me realize how far I've come. A wise person once told me to cherish the time in high school with your friends because it goes by faster than you know. It's so true...I remember the first day of RHS like it was yesterday. I remember going into a brand new school not having any friends at all, and now I look around me and see my life filled with the most amazing human beings. This xanga has been a witness to me falling in love, falling apart, my height of cynicism, depressing times, wonderful times, priceless memories and has also caused some intense drama...
I've always known that I was going to stop writing in this when I went to college. Too much of my past in connected to this website, and I'm going to Austin with no strings attached whatsoever. I don't have the heart to delete it though, so I'll just let it sit here as if it was an encyclopedia of my past sitting on a bookshelf. I started this blog when I was naive, ignorant, and 14 years old. I'm 18 now and I'm venturing out into the real world I'm going on to bigger and better things now. Austin is my new home, and it's time to start completely over.
To EVERYONE that has a been a part of my life thus far, whether family, friends, aquaintences, and even to those that dislike me, THANK YOU. Each and everyone of you has taught me something in some way or another, and that's priceless. So whoever took the time to read my angsty babble and incessant banter, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I wish you all the very best in life.
Godspeed, and yours truly,
-Ashley Watson | | |
| I can't even begin to explain the excruciating banality of being grounded. I'm completely understanding of the fact that I deserve to be punished, it's just really shitty because this is the most crucial time of the summer. Everyone is about to leave for school and instead of spending time with the friends I love, I'm sitting in my little brother's room sneaking around on a computer I'm not even supposed to be on.
My birthday is in 5 days. I'm not getting any gifts this year from my dad. Understandable. My grandpa fixed my tires and brakes, which was really nice and I appreciated. Apparently SXSW was my birthday present from my mom, even though it was free for me to go besides food. While I feel like such a materialistic bitch for even feeling sorry for myself in the slightest, it's not fun being completely broke. True, it's my fault for being retardly irresponsible and making the grand decision to be unemployed all summer. True, I fucked up royally and don't deserve gifts in the first place. I am completely congnizant of the fact that I'm luckier than 90% of the world probably, so why am I still complaining? Why does that make sense?
Enough about my pathetic excuse of a 'problem'.
Actually, no, I think I'll keep talking about myself. I've decided that I'm going to delete my myspace, delete every person on facebook that I've never had a conversation in real life with [wow that's embarrassing to say outloud], and after more than 3 years of writing in this xanga- I'm going to stop. I'm literally starting a whole new life. My family has relocated to San Antonio. My grandpa won't live in Dallas anymore. My best friends will be scattered across the united states. Everything will change. Myspace is just blatant vanity. Xanga is great because sometimes people legitimately care about what you have to say, and you can express your opinions and feelings openly. However, why shouldn't I be able to do this in person? I wish real life had spell check. I'm not as articulate as I'd like to be at times, and I think that's why I've clung on to this thing for so long. I figure, if people care about me enough, they'll call me. Myspace, Xanga, and Facebook are not exactly the finest of communication tools. My goodbye entry is going to be so intense, be ready. Haha, god I need to die.
I'm reading too many books right now in an effort to keep myself occupied. E.F. Schumacher's 'A Guide for the Perplexed', Chompsky's '9-11', Richard Dawkin's 'The God Delusion' [so good, but taking me forever to finish], and a book that I've always wanted to read, Vonnegut's 'The Sirens of Titan'. The first two are pretty dry and dreadfully boring to read at times, but the small bits you pull out of it are totally worth it- if that makes sense.
God dammit, I need my friends back. I got a voicemail from Marta last night and she put the phone up to 'Hey Jude' playing in her car and I just about started crying. But alas, in the words of Paul McCartney I shall indeed take a sad song and make it better.
Life is still beautiful, and despite some massive bumps in the road, I'm still happy.
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| i'm grounded until I move to san antonio
don't text me or call me
it's safe to say I messed up
bye summer | | |
| The past few days have been pretty enjoyable! I've completely given up on attempting to wake up before 3:00pm because it's not going to happen. I've also been cooking lately...I've made a lot of egg salad, grilled cheeses, and brownies. It's nice because at my dad's house we actually have groceries!
Two nights ago was Brendon's little party which was fun as always!
Slide party.
At one point, Brendon had his hand on the table and there was this big brown mole looking thing on it. Jennifer asked him what it was and after some initial confusion brendon realized that it was BEANS. Haha now that I'm retelling it, I'm realizing you probably had to be there to think it was funny.
Marta, Will, Jennifer and myself went to Whataburger afterwards and had a rather uncomfortable experience. I'll go ahead and admit that I was slightly inebriated when I decided it was a good idea to turn my order into a song. I don't know, I thought the lady would like it. It ended up we were all laughing too hard and they had to get 3 separate people to take our order. My song was so good though. "I'd like a justaburger-with cheese-pleeeeeeeeaaaase!!!"
LAST NIGHT GAL CAME BACK TO ME! It was glorious.
Gal, Madeline and I went over to my moms and found A BRAND NEW PAINT SET IN THE TRASHCAN. We painted masterpieces. My personal favorite was my painting of russian prostitute Gal. Brendon, Nick, and Jack came over and we just sat in my living room and it was fun. Brian Storms and Chris Lee stopped by for a chat, and then Eric Storms came too! It was a fun night and I also had the best taco bueno of my life.
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I'm going to miss my siblings so fucking much | | |
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